yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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