i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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