Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
