Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
