You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
