filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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