My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
