I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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