Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
