so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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