Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
