We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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