I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
