Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
