my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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