All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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