It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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