His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
