Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This is my gift to your gina
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
