I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
