C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
