So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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