Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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