If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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