Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
