she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
