YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize