I want to walk on stilts...naked
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
