I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
