Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
