You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
