Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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