Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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