I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
