youre lurking in front of me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
