My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize