Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
