I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
