just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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