You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My balls are so social today.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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