I want to stick my p in your. b.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize