explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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