How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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