don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
