Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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