i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize