Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize