What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
