We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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