I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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