I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
