I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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