This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize