she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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