Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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