Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
