Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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