in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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