I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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