i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
