ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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