Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
