Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You ate ashes out of my bong
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
