I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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