No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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