Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
