I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
