why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize