You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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