what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
