Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
