I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize