So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I need water and some morals
Randomize
