There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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